Have you ever had to make a decision that you knew would be unpopular? Even with yourself? That's where I was this morning. It's actually silly since it's something that God had called me to do months ago. However, there is a deadline racing toward me that made me hesitate and panic a wee bit.
It has to do with security. God asked me to trust him, and I said I would. Then days turned to weeks, weeks to months (yada yada yada), and I still didn't see his promised outcome.
So I did what I do best. I began looking around for my own solution to help Him out a little- just until his plan fell into place. I'm sure he appreciated the fact that he had to herd a crazy, little kitten back into his arms.
Ouch. That had to hurt. I'm sure Peter must have been a bit miffed. I bet Peter meant what he said to Jesus in verse 33. At least he meant it at the time.
I'm a lot like Peter, and maybe you are too. God calls me to trust him and follow, and I enthusiastically agree. Then the calendar pages start turning, and I'm still waiting. Eventually I begin to think of ways to start working without God. I turn to what I've done in the past- not bad things, just not what he has called me to.
Peter did that too. After Jesus raised himself from the grave, Peter went back to fishing (John 21). It was his comfort zone. He'd been a fisherman when Jesus called him to follow. Do you know what Jesus did? He met Peter and the others where they were. Jesus was on the shoreline. Jesus took Peter aside and reinstated him, removing the guilt of denial and a flip-flopping commitment. He gave Peter three opportunities to say how much he loved his Lord.
Three for three. You have to love that.
So I was reminded that God doesn't need my help, and he isn't concerned with my timeline. Even though I am confined by deadlines, he is not.
I've decided to ignore the deadline that's chasing me down. I took a stand this morning and told God that I would follow him even though it had my stomach in knots.
That wasn't good enough. God wanted my obedience with a joyful heart.
I'd just declared my devotion to his plan even though I was clueless as to what that may be. Surely that counted for something!
Not so much.
God wanted me to be excited again. It's like what my friend Melissa tells her children, "Obey right away, all the way, and with a happy heart." (That doesn't mean it be smooth sailing.)
God wants me to be filled with joy as I wait for him. My trepidation and worry was destroying my joy. God gently quieted my heart with his love (Zep 3:17).
So I choose to obey with a happy heart, and I can't help but wonder if most of the blessing will be found in the joy rather than the outcome.
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